Move Your ". . . but . . ."

Rose Jackson ©9/21/2000

(Roller coasters make me queasy, but I can and do have fun on this one. Can you find Ethan and me?)

Yet another post on the power of truth. This is more or less my signature message.

"Yes, Mom, but . . . "
"I will, Dad, but . . ."

Every parent knows these phrases are actually kid-speak for "No." " Yes, . . . but . . . " is camouflage meant to disguise, "I don't want to, and this is why. . . ." or "I won’t, and this is why. . . .” The little word “but” is a simple conjunction and a powerful word we use to negate and contrast. Significantly and subliminally, it shapes our thoughts and attitudes, raises our emotional fists for a fight, and rationalizes our bad behavior. More dangerously, "but" can place a gate in the way of God's blessings and our intimacy with him. " . . . but . . . " dismisses whatever comes before it and zeros in our emphasis and focus on what comes after it. Our “but-s” become our priority and overshadow everything else. Our “but –s” get in the way of our peace and contentment and even living faith-full lives.

Though I knew this intuitively as a parent, I never recognized the power of this little word in my own life until one day when I was complain – I mean, explaining to the Lord why I was feeling so unhappy with my circumstances:“Yes, we have friends here, BUT all the other people I care about are all the way across the country.” No thunderous voice rang out from the heavens, but I heard distinctly in my mind a soft “Ahem,” followed by a firm, “You need to move your but.” Startled, I instinctively cried out loud, "What? What did you say? Was . . . was that you, God?"

A settled spot in my spirit told me it was God's Spirit speaking to me. Once I recovered from my initial shock and confusion, I slowly realized that both halves of my complaint were true, but I was focusing on the second phrase and disregarding the first. Where I put my “. . . but . . . ” profoundly influenced my attitude. It determined whether I would be grateful or miserable, agitated or at peace, doubting or believing. I understood that I had a choice to make. I had the liberty to choose where I would put my “. . . but . . .,” my focus, my attitude, and, as a result, my faith.

All that truth bundled itself up in one simple shift: “You need to move your but . . . ” !

Examine my complaint again and see the difference one small shift makes: “All the other people I care about are clear across the country, but we have good friends here.”

In any circumstance, usually more than one thing is true. Even in the worst of circumstances, one of those truths is always God’s positive truth. Changing what comes after my “but” to God’s truth - to what is in my situation working for good - puts my focus on what I have, rather than on what I lack. It shows me God’s faithfulness when things aren’t going the way I expect or want. It makes my priority what is eternally true, rather than what’s of fleeting value. Maybe you can identify with one of my examples:

From: I know you’re doing good things in my friend’s life to show her you love her, BUT she doesn’t recognize them.
To: I know my friend doesn’t recognize them, BUT I know you’re doing good things in her life to show her you love her.

From: I know I should and can respond with love, BUT he always talks to me so sarcastically.
To: He talks to me so sarcastically, BUT I should and can respond with love.

From: We do have a roof over our heads, BUT it’s one repair after another lately.
To: It’s one repair after another lately, BUT we do have a roof over our heads.

From: I know you have a plan for good, God, BUT I certainly don’t understand how this fits in that plan.
To: I don’t understand how this fits in your plan, God, BUT I know you have a plan for good.

Do you see the difference? If I move my BUT in front of what’s true and positive, my focus will follow. Think that semantic shift doesn’t really change anything? Oh, yes, it powerfully does! That move re-directs my thoughts and attitudes, and my thoughts and attitudes influence how I live out my day.

“Okay,” you say, “that’s great, but (there's a . . . but . . . ) you don't understand how bad my situation is. What if the only truth I have is negative? What if I don’t have anything positive to move my BUT in front of?" Hey, I have some pretty stinky things going on in my life, so I understand where you're coming from. The truth is, life is sometimes downright awful, BUT the truth is also that we always have a true and positive ". . . but . . ." to make our priority and focus. I just learned I have no cartilage and such bad arthritis and bone spurs in my right wrist that I need hand surgery, and my left wrist will soon follow suit. Genetics strikes again! BUT my doctor and physical therapist are amazed that I have such mobility and strength in my right hand. Do you think it matters to my attitude and in my daily walk where I put that . . . but . . . ?

If you think there can't possibly be a positive . . . but . . . in what you're facing, just look at these BUT’s in the Bible:

“. . . BUT you are a shield around me, O Lord, my Glorious One, who lifts up my head.”
Psalm 3:3

“. . . BUT the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.”
Psalm 9: 18

“. . . BUT those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”
Isaiah 40: 31

“. . . BUT I (Jesus) will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”
John 16: 22

“. . . BUT take heart! I (Jesus) have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

What I hear Jesus saying when he contrasts and asserts, “You have heard it said . . . but I tell you . . . .” is, “Life may seem like this, but with me in the picture, it’s actually like this . . . .” Jesus -all he means and does and is - is the positive truth that’s always in every circumstance and relationship in my life!

Feel free to appropriate any of these but-s for your own life today! Try a little experiment. First, think about something that's bugging you or putting a negative focus on your life. Look for a positive truth there, too, and flip those two truths in that circumstance in your life. Next, dare to claim one of Jesus' . . . but . . . 's for what seems impossible or unlivable:

It's true that __________________________, but _______________________________.

Jesus, you know that ____________ is ______________ in my life today, BUT I know that you promise ___________________

Oh, my family would tell you what a pain I have frequently been in my "but-s" and their lives. The great news is that we can stop being pains in and creating pains from our "but-s." Once we see this truth and are willing to move in a faith-affirming direction, the Holy Spirit can remind us to move our "but-s" away from negative, destructive thoughts and attitudes that hold us in bondage,and move our "but-s" in front of God' unchanging truth. I know God wants that peace, liberty,and joy for all of us. Ask him today to show you where you need to move your "but," then expect and experience a liberating change!

Heavenly Father, I see I've been focusing on ________________ instead of on all that you are, all that you do for me, and all that you promise to do in me. Show me your truth and promise in this area of my life, too. I want to live in liberty,hope, faith, victory, compassion, passion, and love. Thank you for helping me move my "but" in your direction today! In Jesus' name, Amen!

And nothing but the truth?

“But it’s the truth . . . ." After God's gentle "Ahem . . . " this morning, I realize that, just because something is true about another person, I don’t need to “dwell on” it. I’ve been repenting of harboring resentment against my husband (and thanking God for bringing up those things I need to repent of) and this morning the Holy Spirit reminded me of Philippians 4:8 : “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, pure, lovely, of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.”

In inspiring Paul, God didn’t stop at “Whatever is true . . . think on these things,” because focusing our thoughts on something and justifying our dwelling there only because it is true, can be a hurtful, harmful thing. Do I want God to remember what is true about me? Yes, but . . . not the truth that I can be resentful, not the truth that I thought uncharitably about my neighbor yesterday, not the truth that I have been overly concerned about my gray hair . . . . I want God to dwell on the truth that I am his, saved by grace, the righteousness of God because of Jesus. I’m sure that’s why God told me (us) to press on beyond just the true to think of what is lovely, honorable, pure, and right about other people.

Case in point (and isn't God good to give me a fresh example of what he's telling me): this morning Chip asked why I put a yard sale sticker on the red ice chest that he’s commented has very user-unfriendly handles. He asserted, “I hope you aren’t getting rid of it just because I said I don’t like it, and then you’ll complain that I was the reason you got rid of something you use.” I replied that I could use our better ice chest, so selling this one was fine. Lurking in my thoughts, of course, was the truth that years ago he’d basically given away my Aunt’s white cast iron patio chair, table and love seat without so much as a questioning glance my way, just because he thought it “wouldn’t survive our move.”

That is true. It is also true that he was thoughtless: he didn't give a thought to my feelings or desires. We’ve covered that ground and he apologized, sort of (or so it sounded to me!) and I forgave him (sort of? Did I truly?). But it’s also something he did that he can’t undo no matter how hard he wished he could. It is true, and I could have brought it up in reply (retort?), but focusing on that truth would have condemned him all over again and started an argument, dragging a past conflict in to spoil today. There are other truths about him that I could and would do better to dwell on: he moved back here because of me, he painted the kitchen while I was in Hong Kong last year and remodeled the laundry room while I was in Thailand this year, he thinks about me every day, he bought me roses for our anniversary, he’s generous to others, he’s a creative problem-solver . . . . lots of positive, pure, honorable, excellent, praise-worthy truths I could think on.

This fits hand-in-glove with “. . . love keeps no record of wrongs. “ (1 Corinthians 13:5). Wrongs other people have done to me are facts, that’s true - at least assuming I didn't mis-take their intentions. But those wrongs aren’t the whole truth about anyone. A record is something that can be written, but in “ancient times” three decades ago, a record was also a flat vinyl disc with grooves cut into it which created sound by transmitting vibration with amplification. A record was something you played over and over again because you liked the sound it produced - "Groovy!" But how many times do I replay a record of another person’s wrongs simply because, for some perverse reason, I enjoy the sound? Not groovy - grievous,and I'm sure it grieves the Holy Spirit when I/we do.

I desperately need to relate to others out of more than "nothing but the truth." Do you, too? I suspect God is just waiting for us to ask him to show us more than what is true about the people we know and love. Here's a request you might like to ask God along with me:

Jesus, help me today. Cut new grooves in the vinyl of my mind with truths that are true AND pure, honorable, right, lovely, excellent, and praise-worthy, and help me to replay those things so I build others up rather than tear them down, destroying precious relationships and lives in the process. Thank you that you're moving me in healthy directions to bring healing, restoration, and goodness to the lives I touch. Thank you, Jesus, for touching me with your true, pure, honorable, lovely, excellent, praise-worthy love. Amen!

copyright Rose Jackson 5/22/08 You may share this with others, but you may not reproduce or quote this without permission of the author. Same goes for all previous posts - share, just don't use for profit.

Here's the photo

Here we are at the border of Thailand and Myanmar

Burma, Bugs, Bee Mine, and Blood

What a week - has it just been one week?! On Monday we drove up to Burma (Myanmar) with a couple from Ireland to renew our Thai tourist visas. It's a 4-hour drive from here through some beautiful mountain scenery and past gazillions of rice paddies. We stopped at some hot springs on the way up and saw something I've never seen or even imagined at hot springs in the US: enterprising Thais selling eggs hard boiled in the hot springs! At Mae Sai we walked across the border, and I don't mind telling you it made me feel a bit edgy when we crossed over to have to leave my passport on the Burma side with officials of your friendly neighborhood military junta. they give you a photo copy of your passport, then you reclaim your passport when you exit the country. The differences between Burma and Thailand remind me of the differences between El Paso and Juarez - that obvious - so I spent most of the 15 minutes or so we were there p-ing for the people and country.

The bugs in this week's title refer to the one Ev caught last week and the one Er is down with. Kids in particular have passed around something not as bad as the flu, but it produces fever, vomiting and coughing. Several have ear infections. Er has a cough, runny nose and laryngitis - an opportunistic bug that took advantage of the food poisoning Er picked up last Sunday night from what we suspect was an undercooked hamburger. We ate in a good restaurant, so it surprised us all. something you also never see in the States: a parrot and a Shitzu (belonging to customers) in a restaurant! We'd appreciate your thoughts for good health for everyone before the next conference begins on Monday.

El has a runny nose and slight fever, we think from the tooth she's cutting. Her poor little face looks like she's played pro football with no helmet - kind of matches the knees of most every child here - because she fell twice this week: once off steps and once just falling on the sidewalk. This week also saw the arrival of a new baby, who made her public debut yesterday at dinner. The ex-pat community at this guest house is a bit like an extended family. It's quite common to see people babysitting or caring for other people's children, and the kids kind of regard the other adults here as "aunties" and "uncles."

Not in the title - Em and I attended a Thai cooking class this week, an early part of her birthday presents. It was great fun, not only the spunky, funny woman who teaches the class, and not only the easy and tasty food we learned to cook, but also the fun people who took the class with us: two guys from the UK, a young German couple, a woman from Japan, and a colleague (and her mother) of Er and Em's. I'll have to make a trip to LiLi's when I get home to pick up ingredients for pad Thai and sticky rice with coconut cream and mango!

Bee Mine was the message on the bee valentines Ev made during our "Bug Week" four weeks ago. He, Em and I made v-alien-tines for his friends here, too. Get it - alien ?!? Ev certainly shares his daddy's interest in things space and NASA. We also launched, er, sent aloft, paper lanterns lifted by what amounts to a sterno ring for Chinese New Year - something else we'd NEVER do in Arizona!

Blood figured in today (Saturday). I was at the pool waiting for Em, Er, Ev and El to arrive when the assistant manager here came to the gate to ask if anyone knew anyone here with B- blood. A tourist who'd been here just one day was evidently in an accident and needed blood for his surgery. Rh- is nonexistent among Asians. Well, "as it happens" (though we know it was no coincidence) Em's friend Monica ws at the pool and knew Em is B-, so I went with Em via ambulance to the hospital. Bless her heart (and both her arms) it took two tries to get a good vein, but Em donated a pint of blood(plus the half pint they couldn't use after her first vein collapsed), enabling the man's surgery. We don't know his or his wife's name, but DAD does, so please lift them both up. How much had to work together to make this amazing connection: the assistant manager being a nurse and knowing the nurse overseeing foreigners at the hospital, Em being here, Monica being at the pool at the right time and knowing Em's blood type . . . ! Just in case you think ABBA doesn't know and care about each one of YOU!

And on that note - tomorrow we move over to the next conference and hotel, where we'll be for the next two weeks. I'll be helping in the nursery, so the little ones AND I could use your thoughts, too - particularly because both El and her slightly younger buddy Chloe LOVE to walk, but Chloe can't yet and needs an adult to do laps, and I do mean LAPS, around the room with her! Much love and many thoughts your way -

Around The World At The Juniper Tree

Gosh, time is flying by here, but so is the world. We've met people from all over Europe, Asia, the Middle East, and Australia and New Zealand, both in terms of their homes of origin and where they live and work now. I can't share their stories online, but I'll be coming home with many, many practical ways to pray for these people, and I hope some of you may hear the call to someday help at conferences and hear incredible stories and meet amazing people yourselves.

We've spent our week just here in Chiang Mai: me, playing with Ev and El and quite a few of the other children here (see the photo taken in the dining room here for a few of them), and Er and Em catching up on e-mail (their in-box often has upwards of 800 e-mails) and personal business. I learned this week that it is possible to exchange a purchase here - even got pointers from the resort staff on the most acceptable way to phrase it. One of the directors here wrote it out for me in Thai, thank goodness. My tailor-made jacket now fits well enough that I CAN take a breath, though I'll never be able to broadly use my hands and arms if I'm wearing it when I speak. Today I made my first venture out without the kids as guides (but with one woman from Gilbert!!! and another from Finland) and didn't get lost in the day market building - amazing, and I'm sorry I don't have a photo of the day market on this computer so you could be suitably impressed.


Yesterday we did a tour (Em arranged it) of some handicraft factories. It was the first - and no doubt last - time I had an emerald and diamond ring on my finger. Some handicrafts! Besides the gem factory, we did see how Thai silk is spun and woven, right from the moths laying eggs all the way to the finished product, and we visited an umbrella-making factory (though factory is hardly the right word to use - it's all open-air and done by hand) where I got a butterfly painted on my jeans, Ev got an elephant on his shorts, and El got a spectacular butterfly painted on her shirt - which she was not wearing at the time, due to concerns about wet paint and her busy little hands. You'll soon see umbrellas from this factory in your local Pier 1 store. The Thai people are quite artistic and music lovers. Our guide/driver spent his time waiting on us to tour the factories by playing a stringed instrument he keeps in the bed of his pickup truck when he takes people around. He was quite good and we enjoyed a short "concert."

This week we attended a kantoke dinner, too, with traditional Thai dancing and food. Monday we go to Burma to get new Thai visas, so next week I'll report on that adventure. I"m off now to call my hubby, so y'all be blessed.

Am I Jane or the Swiss Family Robinson?

For the past two days we've been living in what seem much like tree houses at The Juniper Tree "resort" here in Chiang Mai, our home for two weeks between conferences. I'm living in a teak house that seems very much like ship's quarters inside. Check out www.juniper-tree.org for a peek. At every meal besides breakfasts, we sit with different families from all over the world. Aside from the one thing we all have in common, the common denominator here is children! Em calculated tonight that we adults are seriously outnumbered! You should hear the commotion from the play platform in the dinning room after about 20 minutes into every meal- something like preschool meets family reunion meets chaos. Ev and El love it!

Today we checked out the spider webs, butterflies, and bananas behind their house, then the LARGE red ants crawling up and down a tree (and our legs!) behind us. Yikes and ouch! Our other adventure today was our tuk-tuk driver getting confused as we tried to get back here from an errand up in the north of town. Well . . . it was a nice day for a drive, especially after the non-stop rain and cold yesterday. Our rooms don't have any heat - why would you need a heater in the tropics???? - so last night was quite nippy. We figured it was the storm that blanketed much of China in snow, so we were glad it was just rain down here.

My adventure this past week was getting a jacket made by a seamstress in the day market. Tuesday will tell whether my and Em's gestures and scribbles in a pattern (sort of ) book really communicated what I wanted! Phooey - it's costing me almost as much for a rayon jacket (I couldn't find the right color in raw silk) as it would have for a ready-made silk one - though the silk one was a tight fit. I've never had anything made to my measurements, so this is a new experience on several levels.

So is meeting all the folks here at the Juniper Tree and hearing the stories of their work and challenges. Suffice it to say they regularly deal with things you and I would find "impossible" or downright terrifying. What love and commitment is in their hearts! I'll share details when I get home - in the meantime, please think about them as you talk to the Lord.

Well, the bird (?) monkey(?) is calling outside, so I'd better close for this evening. Much love!

Just like Adventureland

January 24 -Week two in Thailand – and sometimes I have to “pinch myself” to realize I’m really here. Most of my weekdays are spent between our two hotel rooms, but a few steps outside the hotel and it’s Asia for sure just crossing the street to the other hotel where the kids’ conference is and where we all eat lunch together. I got a real reminder of where we are tonight as I walked around the corner and down the street with Eric and the “we hope she falls asleep on this walk” Elsa: Eric pointed out the elephant across the street standing on the sidewalk in between motor scooters! The elephant drivers, called (I’m probably butchering the spelling) “mahouts,” put red lights on the rear of the elephants so other traffic can spot them at night on city streets.

Actually we don’t see that many in town. Last Saturday was a different story when we toured an elephant camp. Part of the package was a one-hour elephant ride, followed by a one-hour raft ride on the river, then a bull cart ride to the resort where we ate lunch. Er and Ev rode one elephant, and Em and Elsa and I rode another. Picture yourself perched about 12 feet off the ground atop a moving, swaying conveyance with nothing but a rope tied across the front of the seat to keep you from slipping out. Now take away the use of one hand (Em holding Elsa, me holding an umbrella over Elsa while she ate and then slept in Em’s arms) and try to find a place to grip with your other hand that will allow you to sort of keep from sliding forward right under said rope as the elephant heads downhill! Did I mention there’s no good place on the elephant’s back to put your feet to help brace yourself? I think you get the picture – and see the photo illustrating our plight. Our mahout kindly took the low road in a couple of places (still involved quite a bit of downhill) after he saw our predicament.

I had to laugh at – and you can understand why I couldn’t get to my camera to photograph – the Coke “billboard” on the side of a raised hut about 50 yards from another raised hut selling soft drinks for the elephant riders. Coke, hand-woven hats, bags, bracelets – the entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well in the “wilds” of Thailand! Women and children stand in the river trying to sell their handmade items, and we saw a guy standing in the river selling cold drinks from a floating ice chest (again, I couldn’t get to my camera in time and thought it might be rude anyway to take a picture). We also visited an orchid farm – incredibly beautiful - and (by popular vote of the linguists on the bus who did NOT want to get back in time to add another seminar to their day) an elephant dung paper manufacturing facility. Yes, you heard me right. The paper is beautiful, by the way.

On to the inspiration in this peregrination. One part of every morning has been an hour or two with Ev and Elsa and four other Third Culture Kids and their caregiver over at a playground at a hotel on the next street. Two days ago I was talking with the nearly ten-year old girl in the group about their family’s plans after this conference. She said they were going to try to have a few days of vacation. Their planned vacation last June was cancelled when her mother contracted typhoid and dengue (sp?)fever and had to go to the hospital. A second trip got axed when they ran into visa problems. She rattled off all their problems quite casually. Are these the kinds of hassles you dream of having to deal with, or more appropriately, ever have nightmares about? This is just part of the reality for families like our “kids”, a cost they assume in doing the work they’re called to. That’s why I came here: to lighten the load a bit for Er and Em and their colleagues at these conferences, or at least to give them one less concern to deal with.

So if/as you think of it, please lift up the folks who are now traveling after the first conference, either to home assignment (wherever home is) or back to their workplaces.

I’d also appreciate a lift-up for my arthritis in my neck issues (I’ve had almost daily headaches here in Thailand) and my peanut sensitivity. Peanuts or peanut oil are nearly impossible to avoid in food here, and my hands and feet have been itching like crazy for the past week despite me giving up eggs in the morning and stir-fried everything.

Third point to lift up: the language survey Er and Em hope to do in early March is waiting on approval from the local language commission, and with Chinese New Year looming, the final decision may be delayed till just a few days before they need to leave. They also need to find housing in the smaller town from which they’ll be doing the survey.

Lastly, if you’d ever like your own adventure – the February conference coming up is an annual event with about 100 kids needing care while their parents attend . . . . Next year YOU on an elephant?