DO do what you need to do in me

Rose Jackson © 9-11-2008

(This is my final post in the mind category. Can you tell what I struggle with most? Pictured are the two sources of my consternation/inspiration in this morning's word from God to me - no, not my husband and our son!)

I’m just not the bling and frou-frou kind of girl. I do like to get dressed up, and I enjoy wearing jewelry and perfume, but I’m just not a ruffles and matching purse/matching shoes/matching nail polish/matching bling woman. I’m not even sure I’d feel comfortable doing that if I could afford to (which I can’t). I hear from God in analogies, and while I admire other speakers who get to deliver the pretty boxes with ribbons and bows kinds of messages, God never seems to speak to me through pretty, girlie things. I “hear” him through tent stakes, roller coasters, and cheese burgers. Nevertheless, I was surprised this morning by what God used to teach me something: dog doo-doo.

All I intended to do in the yard this morning was take advantage of rain-dampened ground to pull pesky spurge, the bane of my gardening, from the back yard. Weeding is unpleasant enough, but as I crouched down working my way beyond the orange tree, I came to a huge patch of spurge smack in the middle of a field of doggie doo. Aargh! I don’t dislike dogs, but when our son wanted a pet ten years ago, I voted for a hamster – they only live a couple of years, and they don’t shed all over the house. My husband staunchly vetoed my vote, asserting, “If we’re going to get a pet, it’s only going to be a dog.” This is the otherwise intelligent man who innocently remarked, “Gosh, honey, I didn’t stop to think you’d be the one home with the dog all day,” when we were housebreaking our adorable Springer Spaniel puppy Katie.

Flash forward through ten years of me brushing, feeding, medicine giving, ear cleaning, ball throwing, bone cooking, daily walking, hair vacuuming, and doo-doo picking up. Yes, our son used to do some of the walking and picking up, but he moved away to college four years ago. Yes, my husband occasionally cleans up the back yard and walks the two dogs (we now have our older son’s dog also) maybe two evenings a week and sometimes on Sunday mornings, and yes, he’s the one who works to buy the dog chow and pay the vet bills, but this morning, as usual, I’m the one whose nose is eighteen inches away from the recycled dog chow covering the back yard, and I’m not happy about it.

Two thoughts, “We could hire someone to do the yard work but no, we can’t afford it,” and my habitual complaint, “Why does it have to be me picking up the poo? He has time in the evenings to do a little bit if he really cared. I’m not the one who wanted a dog!” had only briefly, sarcastically flashed through my miffed mind when, on their heels like Katie after a pigeon, came the thought, "Even if you hired someone to pull the weeds AND pick up the doo-doo, it wouldn’t take care of the real issue. What stinks the most is not the doo-doo in the yard, but the. . . .” I knew that idea didn't come from me! God patiently humors me a lot, and I recognized his heart in the thought. Hiring someone to clean the yard would still leave me with doo-doo in my heart, and a stinky attitude is not what God wants for me, or what I really want myself.

“Okay, I’ve tried the positive thinking thing before," I countered. "Cleaning up the dog doo is a way to show our son I love him, because he loves the dog. That gets me through three minutes of picking up, maybe. Jesus, I need you to really get hold of my heart in this. This morning I need more than just a cheerful veneer, because I want this change to be lasting. I don’t want weekly deposits of resentment in my heart. I want a clean heart more than I want a weed-free, poo-free yard."

God gave me the thought, "Bless your husband as you pick up the poo. Yes, I know you've tried before, but this morning make it not just words of dry obedience, but truly bless him out of what is unpleasant for you." So I did. As I looked up from my hands, I saw opportunity all around me for plenty of blessing for his hands! I prayed, “I don't like what my hands are in right now, but bless the work of his hands today. He works so hard for us. Give him satisfying work to do with his hands, because I know how stressed he feels doing nothing but paperwork. I know I've made some stinky choices he has had to 'pick up.' This mess reminds me that he hangs in there with me when I'm not so pleasant to deal with.”

I honestly felt a shift in my attitude. That shouldn't have surprised me, because the Bible is filled with exhortaton like this in 1 Peter 3: 9 to bless others:

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. "

God moved through my willing-to-change heart. If I bless my husband's hands as mine are doing something I don’t want to do, then this doo-doo can become a springboard (a Springer board?) for God's healing change in me.

Can you guess what I heard from my husband that evening? "I had a great day today! I actually got to sit in the cockpit and play with the radio. Maybe next week I'll get a ride to check things out!" My gosh, God blessed him even as I was praying. Retrospectively, that made the doo-doo duty . . . while not pleasant, even something better: rewarding. I could almost hear the laughter in Heaven. Gosh, God is fun! Why don't I remember that in the middle of my messes?

Has someone else made choices that leave you with doo-doo to deal with? Gosh, how often do I repay not evil, but just plain annoyance, with evil thoughts and insult?

Please don’t hear what I’m not saying! I’m not promoting co-dependent behavior or cleaning up other people’s messes and removing consequences of poor choices from them. I'm talking about my heart, your heart - how we handle the fallout of choices other people make that impact our lives in burdensome, frustrating, irritating, even painful ways. Society often tells us the answer is to get rid of the doo-dropping person. Sometimes, and in cases of abuse, that is the safe and appropriate thing to do. For most of the messes we deal with, though, that isn't a good, healthy, or effective solution, and it doesn't deal with the heart issues that are left behind. Sometimes you can’t change what you have to deal with or get around it: you just have to pick up the doo-doo. But you can choose to bless, which can change you as well.

I can’t get rid of Katie; our son would be crushed, and I’d actually miss her, too. As God revealed to me this morning, though, Katie isn’t the critical issue. It’s my heart that matters to him, and thank God it does! My husband and I can work out the clean-up schedule . . . or I can keep blessing him as Katie drops me reminders!

I write this to share hope and faith with one of you who needs God’s transforming power to turn something stinky in your life into an avenue of blessing and healing for your heart attitude today. I’m confident no women’s ministry director will ever ask me to speak on this topic . . . so this is the only place you'll hear it.

Maybe one of these days yet God will give me a message through a pretty box with ribbons, or jewelry, or nail polish?

A “ . . . but . . . ” to move: Father, as much as I want to, I don’t have the persistent commitment in myself to change my stinky attitudes - and I admit that sometimes I don't even want to. I’m quick to spot the doo-doo from other people’s choices and often blind to the messes in my heart, BUT you are kind enough to both reveal them and set me on the path to healing and peace IN mind. I don't want to live in denial of what's going on in my life; I want your sound mind and wholesome, positive attitude in everything and with everyone I deal with, even when those things and people don't change.Thank you that you DO do in me all it takes to transform _________ and ME into an avenue of blessing!

Your own “ . . . but . . . ” to move: Tender Father, I struggle so with a bad attitude over ___________________________ BUT I trust you, and I know you will __________________.

Roller Coster Mama

(The photo isn't me on a coaster, but I already used that one on my earlier "move your . . . but . . . " post. The Tower of Terror ride behind us is thrilling, though!)


Somewhere between the floor falling away and my body spinning in 360 degree loops as if I were a towel in a clothes dryer, I heard God saying, “This is like your life, isn’t it?” I had to agree. My father’s death from Alzheimer’s, followed in rapid succession by my aunt dying of the same disease, my mother’s unexpected cancer surgery, and our sudden move across the country – yes, my life was a roller coaster. My thoughts flashed back 30 years to the night my husband and I were riding the “Wild Mouse,” a short, fast, jarring little roller coaster, at a local amusement park. The ride operator, a friend of my husband, kept sending us around the ride again and again.

Then it was funny. “But, God, that is like my life now,” I acknowledged, “and now it’s not funny.”
Instantly I realized it wasn’t these major problems that were keeping me in a constant state of turmoil; it was my reaction to the smaller, daily stresses in my life. Can anyone else identify? Take a typical day:

It’s 7:40, and I need to drive Ethan to school by 7:50, then get 45 miles across town to take my mother grocery shopping, run errands along the way to make it worth the time and gas involved, start home before 2:30 so I can use the carpool lane on the freeway, make dinner, and get to Bible study that evening with a dessert to share. But this is the day the garage door opener won’t open. No panic yet. Between the two of us, Ethan and I manage to shove it open. Mental note: drive back home to call garage door company before hitting the freeway. Pray with son and kiss him goodbye. Drive back home, make phone call, and leave a message for Chip to let him know what’s going on. Remember to stop by store I don’t usually frequent to get almond butter and rice milk that Mom can’t get on the west side of town. Hit the freeway. Make it intact to Mom’s, to learn that her medical monitor just arrived and she can’t understand the directions. Help her put on the monitor, run test recording, call the monitoring company, re-write directions for Mom so she can do this on her own, take her to lunch, as it’s now noon, take her to store. Realize it’s next to impossible to start home by 2:30, so kiss carpool lane goodbye, gird my loins for battle, and kiss Mom goodbye. Drive to discount store for errand, find what I need, discover they only have two checkout lanes open and lines a mile long. Look at watch and remember that son did not take house key, so he can’t get into the house if he gets home before I do. Madly put everything back (what would Jesus do?) and dash out of store, into the freeway frenzy, to hopefully get home before son does.

And so on . . . . Have you been on that ride lately?

Meanwhile, careening through the "heartline rolls" on the real roller coaster, I cringed in double conviction, knowing that for a Christian, how I handle stress impacts my discipleship and my witness as well as my body. I took a deep breath as we plunged toward the ground on the aptly-named “Mind Eraser.” Hope filled my mind as breath filled my lungs. I already knew how to manage the stress of riding real roller coasters. Could these same skills apply, as God’s question to me seemed to suggest, to coping with stress in everyday life?


Learning to handle thrill rides was essential for me because our younger son Ethan wanted to become a roller coaster designer – and he was serious about it. That meant we rode a lot of roller coasters. The problem, though, was that age, neck problems, and – I admit it – fear displaced my joy in riding roller coasters long before Ethan was born. I sincerely want to participate in what means so much to my child, so I have been forced to look for personal “survival skills” to help me endure these stresses with peace instead of panic.


Five principles that help me manage my stress on roller coasters have proved to be effective with stress in everyday life, too, and I firmly believe they can reduce the negative impact stress has on our minds, relationships, and bodies, as well as on the reflection of our faith. In the interests of blog space, I'll quickly summarize what I usually speak for an hour on, hoping you'll see the connections without lengthy explanation:

• Secure yourself in the restraints

God designed restraints to keep us safe and secure through the stresses and curves of life. Like the ride designers, God has built simplicity into his safety systems.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. Mark 12: 30-31


Did you ever think of this command as a two-point safety system to protect your life and your relationships? Think for a minute about what your life would look like if you just “buckled up” with these two do’s: love God and love others. Living outside of love in resentment, anger, judgment and bitterness is just like ignoring the seat belt and standing up on a thrill ride: it sets us up for accidents when stress loops our lives. Lives and relationships could be saved from injury or destruction if we keep our words and actions inside the vehicle of a loving attitude at all times, even when we're stressed.


• Brace your feet or cross your ankles


When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalm 94: 18-19


Part of either the fun or fear (depending on your outlook) on a roller coaster comes from experiencing negative G’s and the feelings of instability and insecurity that send adrenaline coursing through your brain and body. The heart-in-your-throat first drop of “Superman – Ride of Steel” is 221feet (67.4 meters) that seems to plunge more than vertically down. On drops like this, I press my feet into the floor. It doesn’t make the ride safer or shorter, but it helps me feel more stable and keeps me in the seat!

If I’m riding a suspended roller coaster where there is no floor to begin with (ah, the Mind Eraser), or if the floor will at some point drop away beneath me (oy, the Medusa), I cross my ankles so my legs don’t whip around uncomfortably on the loops and snap turns. Have you noticed how frequently your foot ends up “in your mouth” when you’re stressed, or how often your bad attitude “kicks” the person next to you? Pressing into solid support gives us accountability and stability that strengthen self-control, peace, and patience within us. Ideally, family members support each other in stressful times, but sometimes family members cause the corkscrews! I know I’ve created stress for the people I love. Christians have the supporting “floor” of God’s Spirit, but we also need a network of people who will love us enough to push back with truth, with kind correction, with encouragement when we need it, and with practical help, too.

•Center your focus

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17


Focus is one way my approach to thrill rides differs radically from that of my husband and son, who ride coasters with analytical minds and cast-iron stomachs. They enjoy keeping their eyes open to anticipate the next snap, loop or dive. For me, anticipation produces anxiety, and my eyes looping all over everywhere set my head spinning. To keep my stomach from churning, I focus on one spot directly in front of me, the way a skater focuses when doing spins - even if that spot is my white knuckles gripping the safety bar, or on the tip of my nose if my eyes are closed. Looking steadily into the distance towards the horizon in the direction in which you are moving – looking toward an unchanging spot - helps to reconcile the confusing signals, re-orient your perception and restore your sense of balance.


“God is good. God is good . . .” is the spot I center on again and again when my life starts spinning. God’s goodness is unchanging, no matter how confusing the signals we’re receiving seem to us.

•Be mindful of the truth



Much of the stress I feel in any given situation comes from what I’m thinking about. To reduce my stress level on roller coasters, I tell myself positive truths when I ride. "Thrill ride designers do factor in gravity, material strength, and limitations of human anatomy when they design rides. The theme park owners do not want me to be injured or die. They work to prevent this. The biggest drop on this coaster only lasts 2.8 seconds. I can be at peace for 2.8 seconds." Somewhere back in the far corners of my brain I do understand this, but that knowledge has a hard time influencing my emotions and my stomach unless I choose to think about it. I have to remind myself of the positive truth.



When I’m stressed, most facts that immediately come to mind are negative, but there are always at least one or two points of positive truth I can think about. I may be powerless to control my circumstances, but I always have power to direct my thoughts.




To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32


• Choose your rides carefully


I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength . Philippians 4:13





I ride what I think I can reasonably handle. I try to discern when to ride, when not to ride, and how to say “no” without guilt. Sometimes you have no choice. Sickness or disaster or job loss or someone else’s bad choice drops you onto a thrill ride you weren’t standing in line for, but I don’t have to create thrill rides for myself or my family by trying to reason with a tired two-year-old, proving to my husband that I’m right, walking in the store just to check what’s on sale when our budget is tight, or accomplishing one more thing in the five minutes I have before I need to leave for an appointment.

A " . . . but . . . " to pray:


Jesus , your limitless love and power give me contentment and strength for every ride, so Lord, let me be a roller coaster mama! I'm sure this week life will take me on a thrill ride, BUT with your help I won’t panic, hyperventilate, or scream. I’ll buckle into love for you and others – even the ones who put me on the roller coasters. I’ll press into a supporting floor and brace my feet at the foot of the cross. I’ll choose positive truth and center my focus on you. When it is within my power to choose what I get involved in, I will be wise about my choices. When it isn’t within my power to choose, I’ll trust in Jesus’ limitless power to strengthen me, and by faith I believe I’ll even enjoy the ride!
Amen!




Your own " . . . but . . . " to move:


God, I'm stressed today over ___________________, BUT I know you __________________________________. As I press into you, help me enjoy the ride!

The Sea Glass War

Rose Jackson © 7/15/2008

The rocket attack came from out of the blue. My husband and I were standing in the long line in front of the auditorium the night of our younger son’s final high school chorus concert, when Ethan called on my cell phone to ask if he could borrow some money so a fellow singer who hadn’t had dinner could get something to eat before the show. Phone in hand, I turned and explained the situation to my husband. I asked him if that would be okay, and he angrily fired off, “He’s your son!” Whoa – where did that come from?

Shell-shocked, I couldn’t imagine what provoked his angry attack or even what his comment meant. I didn’t know we were at war! Our son came out to get the money and told me it was for a good friend from church. I started to explain to my husband who the friend was, thinking an explanation would help, and he snapped, “Don’t tell me that. I don’t need to know!” Two rounds fired! This was no accidental friendly fire shooting! Instantly my defensive shields went up. I felt angry and confused, but I couldn’t lob any verbal grenades back at my husband because the women’s ministry director of our church was standing three people ahead of me. Trapped! I was pinned down, unable to defend myself.

Usually I’d launch a retaliatory strike, or at least set the launch codes and fire later when I had the opportunity. I didn’t want to cause a scene in line or ruin the evening, but I also didn’t think it would be healthy for our relationship to let the incident go and pretend this conflict never happened. What to do? In an unusual step for me back from the brink of mutual annihilation, I quickly asked Jesus to help me know how to handle my anger, and I held my fire.

I didn’t say anything when we got home that night, but the next morning I asked Jesus to help me find a positive way to express my feelings that would also bring a healthy resolution to the issue for both my husband and me. He did just that. At the breakfast table I told my husband I felt his words had been intentionally hurtful, and then I asked if he would speak to people at work the way he did to me the night before. He said no, but he didn’t think his words had been hurtful. Inside I was thinking, “Oh, come on,” but I asked him again if he would speak to other people that way, and he replied that he wouldn’t, because no one at work would speak to him the way I did. Puzzled because I hadn’t said anything nasty to him, but feeling a peace that surely came from God, I replied, “Your comment indicates that you do realize the words were hurtful.” I calmly, honestly stated that I couldn’t think of anything I’d said the previous night to merit hostile words. Amazingly, my husband’s demeanor changed and he acknowledged that he had been angry and intentionally used those hostile words. At that point we were able to identify what he had been angry about, discuss the situation, and come to a healthy resolution.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret – it leads only to evil. . . . Turn from evil and do good; then you will always live securely. For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones." Psalm 37: 7-8, 27

Jesus turned what could have been explosive and damaging into something healing. Because it was unexpectedly healing, and because Jesus enabled me to uncharacteristically say something that maintained my dignity and still respected my husband, to me it was profoundly beautiful. Years ago for a book on prayer, I wrote an analogy comparing anger to broken glass on a playground. Broken glass is shiny and attractive, but you’d warn your child not to pick it up because, attractive as it looks, broken glass easily cuts anyone who handles it. Anger likewise cuts and wounds relationships. If she or he picked up a piece of broken glass, you’d immediately ask your child to either drop it or carefully hand it to you, so you could take care of it safely and properly. In the analogy, I wrote that the proper thing to do with anger is hand it to Jesus so he can dispose of it safely.

After our “chorus line” battle, though, I realized Jesus can do more than just dispose of our anger: if we let him (there’s the best battle plan), his hands can change it and transform our anger into something precious. Shards of broken anger can become beautiful like rounded sea glass. At www.americancraftworks.com/TheStoryofSeaglass.html I found a description of the process that turns trashed broken glass into beautiful sea glass:

“Sea glass, Beach glass or Mermaid tears, whatever you care to call them there’s no denying that the mighty ocean turns unwanted glass bottles into colorful glistening jewels of the sea. The ocean’s saltwater and sand combined with the various tides act like a giant rock tumbler & (sic) eventually turn sharp broken glass into beautifully rounded frosted jewels that wash up on the shoreline. . . . The Blues, Reds, lavenders & Sea Foam Green’s & Blues often fetch hefty prices in the jewelry market and some people and companies are making their own Sea Glass by ‘tumbling’ and passing them off as the real thing!”

I want the real thing, the crown jewels from a victory won. My battle is not “ . . . against flesh and blood, but against the . . . powers of this dark world." (Ephesians 6:12)That’s another way to say that in interpersonal conflict, my worst enemy is my natural (sinful, there, I used the "S" word)instinct to retaliate. And oh, it is a battle! “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." ( Prov. 16:32) When we’re angry and defensive, it takes a warrior’s discipline and courage not to pull the pin and toss a grenade at whomever is in the next foxhole, but to pray and wait for God’s wisdom instead.

That day on my battlefield I handed Jesus the broken glass of my anger and asked his help in dealing positively with it. Jesus took it in his wounded hands and, through his tears and love, returned it to me transformed into a healthy response, something beautiful to be valued and prized, a trophy of a war won.

Dear Jesus, I have been wounded by other people’s anger and harsh, thoughtless words, BUT I surrender my own angry, defensive feelings to you, believing and expectantly waiting for you to show me how to respond in a way that’s upright, respectful, and healing for me and for the other person. I know that regardless of how the other person responds, what you do in me and for this relationship will be precious and beautiful.

YOUR OWN “BUT” Dear Jesus, I was wounded when ______________________ BUT I surrender my angry feelings to you, believing you ____________________________________.

Take Your Mind for a Walk

Take Your Mind for a Walk: Sit – Forward - Heel
Rose Jackson ©2/9/2005

I had to laugh. We were going to be studying Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind in our weekly women’s Bible study, and the coordinator had just asked if I’d teach the chapter “When Is My Mind Normal?” God has such a sense of humor. I’d been wrestling with anxiety, scatter-brained thinking, and then self-condemnation for LETTING myself think anxious, six-directions-at-once thoughts. I was completely unqualified – or was it ruefully, totally qualified – to teach anyone else about healthy thinking. So of course I said yes.

In the mornings I have my quiet time with God while I’m walking our two dogs, Katie and Jenga. There I go, multi-tasking meditation, but it works because I only need to use a superficial fraction of my brain to monitor the dogs. That’s the part that’s usually noisy and intrusive when I try to pray anyhow, so walking the dogs keeps it occupied with “mind-less” busy work while the rest of my brain tries to center and focus on hearing God.

So there I was the next morning, one “eye” on leashes and business ends and the “eye of my heart” crying out to see what God wanted to say through me, when it dawned on me: the normal state of my mind is like Katie (a Springer Spaniel) and Jenga (a “Chug”, Chihuahua-Pug mix) on a morning walk, running off in different directions at different speeds (my morning stretch), generally with conflicting purposes, and getting hopelessly tangled in the process.

That’s the normal state of my mind, but is that “normal?” Melancholy personality that I am, as soon as I got home and put away tangled leashes and harnesses and put some ice on my nearly-dislocated shoulder, I looked up definitions for “normal” and discovered that normal can mean:

(1) Conforming to or consisting of a pattern, process, or standard regarded as usual or typical.
(2) Well-adjusted, without marked or persistent mental aberrations.
(3) Not exposed to infection; healthy.

What is the typical, usual thinking pattern for our culture (I suspect that includes you)? Kathleen A. Hall says, “’People in this country live such fast lives of habituation . . . . We live from the outside in, not the inside out.’ Running through life has become the societal norm. ‘We have trained our brains for knee-jerk reactions.’”[1] In other words, our brains are constantly playing the pizza parlor game “Whack a Mole.” Or for you tech-savvy people, we live our days with multiple windows open. Not sure it’s true? Well . . . when you’re driving, have you ever ended up someplace other than your intended destination and not known how you got there? I have, and it scared me!

That’s typical-normal for us stress-bombarded, multi-tasking, time-challenged people, but it’s not well-adjusted, healthy normal, and I don’t think it’s what God wants for us. It's definitely not what I want for me. What I do want in my thinking is this:

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened” (Ephesians 1:18)
“And this is my prayer, that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best . . . “ (Philippians 1:9-10)
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

Not so deep down, I realize that a “healthy normal” mind is peaceful, alert, disciplined, trusting God, and that’s what I cry out for in the middle of my multi-tasking days. But how can I be “transformed by the renewing of your mind . . . able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will,” (Romans 12:2) if I think “from the outside in” with Whack-a-Mole scattered, knee-jerk attention?

Back to Katie and Jenga and their tangled leashes. Katie at least had obedience training – just a short course, but enough to learn to respond to a few commands: halt, sit, forward, heel. When Katie is under my control (that’s why it’s called obedience training) there’s no chaos; we move forward and get where we’re going with no strangled dogs or dislocated shoulders (mine).

God freely gives us his Spirit. Jesus promised, “If you love me, you will obey what I command (sounds like what I want from Katie for her own good). And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever – the Spirit of truth.” (John 14:15-17)

Joyce Meyer writes, “The Holy Spirit gives information from God to the person’s spirit, and if his spirit and mind are aiding one another, then he can walk in divine wisdom and revelation.”[2] There it is: God’s Spirit (commanding, or if you prefer, guiding) through my spirit (obeying, cooperating) can aid my mind so I walk in divine wisdom and revelation. And do I desperately want that! So I take the commands I give Katie and apply them to myself:

“SIT” gets me to stop running and return to my voice command, to listen to God’s Spirit.

“FORWARD” reorients me by a choice of my will and gets me moving in the direction Jesus is going. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Paul, First Century behavior modification expert) Phil. 3:14

“HEEL” reminds me to stay close to Jesus and keep pace with the Holy Spirit. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us . . . We have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:12, 16

Silly as it sounds, I actually tell myself those commands (well, usually, and more frequently now) when I find my attention fragmented, my thoughts wandering, and my mindset anxious or negative. I pray I always respond willingly and with a renewed mind when I hear my Master ask me, “Want to go for a walk?”

Here's a BUT for you to move today:
Dear Father and Master, I know that I “normally” respond more to circumstances and time pressures than to your voice. That’s not what I want for my brain chemistry or my life and the people I cherish, BUT your Spirit lives in me, so you give me the power to rein in my scattered thoughts and think “healthy normally,” clearly, alertly, peacefully, trusting you.

And room for your own BUT: God, I know I _______________________________ BUT you have ______________________________________________________

[1] Carrie White, “The Passion Connection,” East Valley Tribune 2/3/2005
[2] Joyce Meyer, Battlefield of the Mind,” Time Warner Book Group, New York, 1995, p. 80

Church lady or Disciple?

Rose Jackson© 6/1/2008

(In the next few blogs I’ll continue to focus on truth and our mind)

I always get picked. Whenever we go to the Renaissance Festival or any stage show that involves audience participation, there must be a sign over my head that says “Pick This One.” With horror I watch the performer’s smile grow as his/her finger points my way, and I try to duck, but it never works. The next thing I know, I’m up on stage as “Sister Helena Handbasket” or - worse yet - “The Church Lady.”

I cringe most recalling Old Tucson, the gray medicine wagon, and “Professor Magillicutty’s Astounding Transfiction Show. “ That’s where I became and confronted "The Church Lady." I still cringe because I felt so incredibly uncomfortable, far beyond the normal and expected embarrassment at being the object of poked fun. Embarrassment I could have handled. Conviction was another story. Why was I squirming inside? It was that word: TransFiction.

There I was, chosen and branded probably because I looked inoffensive, good-natured, a bit gullible and easily embarrass-able: The Church Lady. I looked sweet on the outside, but that was fiction. My watching family knew all too well who I was inside, and the truth was that the inside didn’t always match the appearance, tambourine or not. I don’t remember specifically, but I’d probably just let a loved one have it with both barrels of my quick wit and my righteousness before the professor’s assistant singled me out of the crowd. Tambourine rattling in my hand, in my head I heard clearly, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” 1Cor. 13:1

For me to stop sweating when I’m the local comedic color, for my inside to match my outside and TransFiction to become true transformation, I know need not a miracle elixir like Professor Magillicutty’s snake oil (advertised in the sign on his wagon in the photo above to “Restore Your Love, Generate Good Health, and Improve Your Mental Processes), but something truly effective. I need the mind of Christ. And I realize to have the mind of Christ, I need to have the heart of Christ Jesus. In my heart is where fiction becomes conformation, and conformation to Jesus’ heart brings transformation.

In her book Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer says “We would make tremendous progress simply by learning how to discern life and death.” (P. 162) Oh, THAT’S easy! Sometimes the poison flies out of my mouth disguised as correction before I realize I’m spitting destruction (and yes, sometimes I’ve thought about it). Would that I COULD discern life and death before I let fly!

Astoundingly, though, you and I have hope and assurance that we can, and that we can be transformed from “Church Ladies” (or Men) to disciples. God promises:

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you . . . . Ezekiel 36:26-27

But Christ has blessed you with the Holy Spirit. Now the Spirit stays in you . . . . The Spirit is truthful and teaches you everything. So stay one in your heart with Christ, just as the Spirit has taught you to do. 1 John 2:27 (CEV)

The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6

God’s Spirit in us is the difference between death and life, Church Lady and disciple; I want to be a disciple.

“A disciple, or apprentice, is simply someone who has decided to be with another person, under appropriate conditions, in order to become capable of doing what that person does or to become what that person is. . . I am not necessarily learning to do everything he (Jesus) did, but I am learning how to do everything I do in the manner that he did all that he did. Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy, 282-283

Apprentices learn techniques, but being Jesus’ apprentice/disciple isn’t about learning technique, or about swallowing a magic elixir - it’s about having his heart and learning to love with his love. In my prayer time over the past year as I’ve asked Jesus to show me what’s on his heart for people in my life, and as I’ve focused on personal repentance to get ready for Reign Down USA this past April, Jesus has done and is doing a work of real transformation in me. Love is coming to life in my heart in places I feared were beyond love’s resurrection. I’m even catching hurtful words in the thought stage and taking those thoughts captive to make them obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Gosh, what a relief – no, what a victory - to know that what I think doesn’t HAVE to come out of my mouth and wound others’ spirits! No more Church Lady! The sign on Professor Magillicutty’s medicine wagon can become truth, not fiction, for all of us. With his own Spirit and his “heart of flesh,” Jesus will restore our love, generate good health, and as a special bonus, even improve our mental processes!

Here’s a “BUT” for you to move today, and room for you to ask Jesus to reveal another "BUT" to you:

God, I know sometimes and in some places and relationships my “Christ-likeness” has been fiction, not truth, BUT I know and believe you can and will transform me because your word promises that you will take away heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh, Jesus very own heart, and put your Spirit in me. I give you freedom to show me where I need to repent and whom I need to love with your love. Thank you that from today forward I will not live a life of “Astounding TransFiction,” but real transformation! In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Your own BUT:

Move Your ". . . but . . ."

Rose Jackson ©9/21/2000

(Roller coasters make me queasy, but I can and do have fun on this one. Can you find Ethan and me?)

Yet another post on the power of truth. This is more or less my signature message.

"Yes, Mom, but . . . "
"I will, Dad, but . . ."

Every parent knows these phrases are actually kid-speak for "No." " Yes, . . . but . . . " is camouflage meant to disguise, "I don't want to, and this is why. . . ." or "I won’t, and this is why. . . .” The little word “but” is a simple conjunction and a powerful word we use to negate and contrast. Significantly and subliminally, it shapes our thoughts and attitudes, raises our emotional fists for a fight, and rationalizes our bad behavior. More dangerously, "but" can place a gate in the way of God's blessings and our intimacy with him. " . . . but . . . " dismisses whatever comes before it and zeros in our emphasis and focus on what comes after it. Our “but-s” become our priority and overshadow everything else. Our “but –s” get in the way of our peace and contentment and even living faith-full lives.

Though I knew this intuitively as a parent, I never recognized the power of this little word in my own life until one day when I was complain – I mean, explaining to the Lord why I was feeling so unhappy with my circumstances:“Yes, we have friends here, BUT all the other people I care about are all the way across the country.” No thunderous voice rang out from the heavens, but I heard distinctly in my mind a soft “Ahem,” followed by a firm, “You need to move your but.” Startled, I instinctively cried out loud, "What? What did you say? Was . . . was that you, God?"

A settled spot in my spirit told me it was God's Spirit speaking to me. Once I recovered from my initial shock and confusion, I slowly realized that both halves of my complaint were true, but I was focusing on the second phrase and disregarding the first. Where I put my “. . . but . . . ” profoundly influenced my attitude. It determined whether I would be grateful or miserable, agitated or at peace, doubting or believing. I understood that I had a choice to make. I had the liberty to choose where I would put my “. . . but . . .,” my focus, my attitude, and, as a result, my faith.

All that truth bundled itself up in one simple shift: “You need to move your but . . . ” !

Examine my complaint again and see the difference one small shift makes: “All the other people I care about are clear across the country, but we have good friends here.”

In any circumstance, usually more than one thing is true. Even in the worst of circumstances, one of those truths is always God’s positive truth. Changing what comes after my “but” to God’s truth - to what is in my situation working for good - puts my focus on what I have, rather than on what I lack. It shows me God’s faithfulness when things aren’t going the way I expect or want. It makes my priority what is eternally true, rather than what’s of fleeting value. Maybe you can identify with one of my examples:

From: I know you’re doing good things in my friend’s life to show her you love her, BUT she doesn’t recognize them.
To: I know my friend doesn’t recognize them, BUT I know you’re doing good things in her life to show her you love her.

From: I know I should and can respond with love, BUT he always talks to me so sarcastically.
To: He talks to me so sarcastically, BUT I should and can respond with love.

From: We do have a roof over our heads, BUT it’s one repair after another lately.
To: It’s one repair after another lately, BUT we do have a roof over our heads.

From: I know you have a plan for good, God, BUT I certainly don’t understand how this fits in that plan.
To: I don’t understand how this fits in your plan, God, BUT I know you have a plan for good.

Do you see the difference? If I move my BUT in front of what’s true and positive, my focus will follow. Think that semantic shift doesn’t really change anything? Oh, yes, it powerfully does! That move re-directs my thoughts and attitudes, and my thoughts and attitudes influence how I live out my day.

“Okay,” you say, “that’s great, but (there's a . . . but . . . ) you don't understand how bad my situation is. What if the only truth I have is negative? What if I don’t have anything positive to move my BUT in front of?" Hey, I have some pretty stinky things going on in my life, so I understand where you're coming from. The truth is, life is sometimes downright awful, BUT the truth is also that we always have a true and positive ". . . but . . ." to make our priority and focus. I just learned I have no cartilage and such bad arthritis and bone spurs in my right wrist that I need hand surgery, and my left wrist will soon follow suit. Genetics strikes again! BUT my doctor and physical therapist are amazed that I have such mobility and strength in my right hand. Do you think it matters to my attitude and in my daily walk where I put that . . . but . . . ?

If you think there can't possibly be a positive . . . but . . . in what you're facing, just look at these BUT’s in the Bible:

“. . . BUT you are a shield around me, O Lord, my Glorious One, who lifts up my head.”
Psalm 3:3

“. . . BUT the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.”
Psalm 9: 18

“. . . BUT those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”
Isaiah 40: 31

“. . . BUT I (Jesus) will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”
John 16: 22

“. . . BUT take heart! I (Jesus) have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

What I hear Jesus saying when he contrasts and asserts, “You have heard it said . . . but I tell you . . . .” is, “Life may seem like this, but with me in the picture, it’s actually like this . . . .” Jesus -all he means and does and is - is the positive truth that’s always in every circumstance and relationship in my life!

Feel free to appropriate any of these but-s for your own life today! Try a little experiment. First, think about something that's bugging you or putting a negative focus on your life. Look for a positive truth there, too, and flip those two truths in that circumstance in your life. Next, dare to claim one of Jesus' . . . but . . . 's for what seems impossible or unlivable:

It's true that __________________________, but _______________________________.

Jesus, you know that ____________ is ______________ in my life today, BUT I know that you promise ___________________

Oh, my family would tell you what a pain I have frequently been in my "but-s" and their lives. The great news is that we can stop being pains in and creating pains from our "but-s." Once we see this truth and are willing to move in a faith-affirming direction, the Holy Spirit can remind us to move our "but-s" away from negative, destructive thoughts and attitudes that hold us in bondage,and move our "but-s" in front of God' unchanging truth. I know God wants that peace, liberty,and joy for all of us. Ask him today to show you where you need to move your "but," then expect and experience a liberating change!

Heavenly Father, I see I've been focusing on ________________ instead of on all that you are, all that you do for me, and all that you promise to do in me. Show me your truth and promise in this area of my life, too. I want to live in liberty,hope, faith, victory, compassion, passion, and love. Thank you for helping me move my "but" in your direction today! In Jesus' name, Amen!

And nothing but the truth?

“But it’s the truth . . . ." After God's gentle "Ahem . . . " this morning, I realize that, just because something is true about another person, I don’t need to “dwell on” it. I’ve been repenting of harboring resentment against my husband (and thanking God for bringing up those things I need to repent of) and this morning the Holy Spirit reminded me of Philippians 4:8 : “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, pure, lovely, of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.”

In inspiring Paul, God didn’t stop at “Whatever is true . . . think on these things,” because focusing our thoughts on something and justifying our dwelling there only because it is true, can be a hurtful, harmful thing. Do I want God to remember what is true about me? Yes, but . . . not the truth that I can be resentful, not the truth that I thought uncharitably about my neighbor yesterday, not the truth that I have been overly concerned about my gray hair . . . . I want God to dwell on the truth that I am his, saved by grace, the righteousness of God because of Jesus. I’m sure that’s why God told me (us) to press on beyond just the true to think of what is lovely, honorable, pure, and right about other people.

Case in point (and isn't God good to give me a fresh example of what he's telling me): this morning Chip asked why I put a yard sale sticker on the red ice chest that he’s commented has very user-unfriendly handles. He asserted, “I hope you aren’t getting rid of it just because I said I don’t like it, and then you’ll complain that I was the reason you got rid of something you use.” I replied that I could use our better ice chest, so selling this one was fine. Lurking in my thoughts, of course, was the truth that years ago he’d basically given away my Aunt’s white cast iron patio chair, table and love seat without so much as a questioning glance my way, just because he thought it “wouldn’t survive our move.”

That is true. It is also true that he was thoughtless: he didn't give a thought to my feelings or desires. We’ve covered that ground and he apologized, sort of (or so it sounded to me!) and I forgave him (sort of? Did I truly?). But it’s also something he did that he can’t undo no matter how hard he wished he could. It is true, and I could have brought it up in reply (retort?), but focusing on that truth would have condemned him all over again and started an argument, dragging a past conflict in to spoil today. There are other truths about him that I could and would do better to dwell on: he moved back here because of me, he painted the kitchen while I was in Hong Kong last year and remodeled the laundry room while I was in Thailand this year, he thinks about me every day, he bought me roses for our anniversary, he’s generous to others, he’s a creative problem-solver . . . . lots of positive, pure, honorable, excellent, praise-worthy truths I could think on.

This fits hand-in-glove with “. . . love keeps no record of wrongs. “ (1 Corinthians 13:5). Wrongs other people have done to me are facts, that’s true - at least assuming I didn't mis-take their intentions. But those wrongs aren’t the whole truth about anyone. A record is something that can be written, but in “ancient times” three decades ago, a record was also a flat vinyl disc with grooves cut into it which created sound by transmitting vibration with amplification. A record was something you played over and over again because you liked the sound it produced - "Groovy!" But how many times do I replay a record of another person’s wrongs simply because, for some perverse reason, I enjoy the sound? Not groovy - grievous,and I'm sure it grieves the Holy Spirit when I/we do.

I desperately need to relate to others out of more than "nothing but the truth." Do you, too? I suspect God is just waiting for us to ask him to show us more than what is true about the people we know and love. Here's a request you might like to ask God along with me:

Jesus, help me today. Cut new grooves in the vinyl of my mind with truths that are true AND pure, honorable, right, lovely, excellent, and praise-worthy, and help me to replay those things so I build others up rather than tear them down, destroying precious relationships and lives in the process. Thank you that you're moving me in healthy directions to bring healing, restoration, and goodness to the lives I touch. Thank you, Jesus, for touching me with your true, pure, honorable, lovely, excellent, praise-worthy love. Amen!

copyright Rose Jackson 5/22/08 You may share this with others, but you may not reproduce or quote this without permission of the author. Same goes for all previous posts - share, just don't use for profit.

Here's the photo

Here we are at the border of Thailand and Myanmar

Burma, Bugs, Bee Mine, and Blood

What a week - has it just been one week?! On Monday we drove up to Burma (Myanmar) with a couple from Ireland to renew our Thai tourist visas. It's a 4-hour drive from here through some beautiful mountain scenery and past gazillions of rice paddies. We stopped at some hot springs on the way up and saw something I've never seen or even imagined at hot springs in the US: enterprising Thais selling eggs hard boiled in the hot springs! At Mae Sai we walked across the border, and I don't mind telling you it made me feel a bit edgy when we crossed over to have to leave my passport on the Burma side with officials of your friendly neighborhood military junta. they give you a photo copy of your passport, then you reclaim your passport when you exit the country. The differences between Burma and Thailand remind me of the differences between El Paso and Juarez - that obvious - so I spent most of the 15 minutes or so we were there p-ing for the people and country.

The bugs in this week's title refer to the one Ev caught last week and the one Er is down with. Kids in particular have passed around something not as bad as the flu, but it produces fever, vomiting and coughing. Several have ear infections. Er has a cough, runny nose and laryngitis - an opportunistic bug that took advantage of the food poisoning Er picked up last Sunday night from what we suspect was an undercooked hamburger. We ate in a good restaurant, so it surprised us all. something you also never see in the States: a parrot and a Shitzu (belonging to customers) in a restaurant! We'd appreciate your thoughts for good health for everyone before the next conference begins on Monday.

El has a runny nose and slight fever, we think from the tooth she's cutting. Her poor little face looks like she's played pro football with no helmet - kind of matches the knees of most every child here - because she fell twice this week: once off steps and once just falling on the sidewalk. This week also saw the arrival of a new baby, who made her public debut yesterday at dinner. The ex-pat community at this guest house is a bit like an extended family. It's quite common to see people babysitting or caring for other people's children, and the kids kind of regard the other adults here as "aunties" and "uncles."

Not in the title - Em and I attended a Thai cooking class this week, an early part of her birthday presents. It was great fun, not only the spunky, funny woman who teaches the class, and not only the easy and tasty food we learned to cook, but also the fun people who took the class with us: two guys from the UK, a young German couple, a woman from Japan, and a colleague (and her mother) of Er and Em's. I'll have to make a trip to LiLi's when I get home to pick up ingredients for pad Thai and sticky rice with coconut cream and mango!

Bee Mine was the message on the bee valentines Ev made during our "Bug Week" four weeks ago. He, Em and I made v-alien-tines for his friends here, too. Get it - alien ?!? Ev certainly shares his daddy's interest in things space and NASA. We also launched, er, sent aloft, paper lanterns lifted by what amounts to a sterno ring for Chinese New Year - something else we'd NEVER do in Arizona!

Blood figured in today (Saturday). I was at the pool waiting for Em, Er, Ev and El to arrive when the assistant manager here came to the gate to ask if anyone knew anyone here with B- blood. A tourist who'd been here just one day was evidently in an accident and needed blood for his surgery. Rh- is nonexistent among Asians. Well, "as it happens" (though we know it was no coincidence) Em's friend Monica ws at the pool and knew Em is B-, so I went with Em via ambulance to the hospital. Bless her heart (and both her arms) it took two tries to get a good vein, but Em donated a pint of blood(plus the half pint they couldn't use after her first vein collapsed), enabling the man's surgery. We don't know his or his wife's name, but DAD does, so please lift them both up. How much had to work together to make this amazing connection: the assistant manager being a nurse and knowing the nurse overseeing foreigners at the hospital, Em being here, Monica being at the pool at the right time and knowing Em's blood type . . . ! Just in case you think ABBA doesn't know and care about each one of YOU!

And on that note - tomorrow we move over to the next conference and hotel, where we'll be for the next two weeks. I'll be helping in the nursery, so the little ones AND I could use your thoughts, too - particularly because both El and her slightly younger buddy Chloe LOVE to walk, but Chloe can't yet and needs an adult to do laps, and I do mean LAPS, around the room with her! Much love and many thoughts your way -

Around The World At The Juniper Tree

Gosh, time is flying by here, but so is the world. We've met people from all over Europe, Asia, the Middle East, and Australia and New Zealand, both in terms of their homes of origin and where they live and work now. I can't share their stories online, but I'll be coming home with many, many practical ways to pray for these people, and I hope some of you may hear the call to someday help at conferences and hear incredible stories and meet amazing people yourselves.

We've spent our week just here in Chiang Mai: me, playing with Ev and El and quite a few of the other children here (see the photo taken in the dining room here for a few of them), and Er and Em catching up on e-mail (their in-box often has upwards of 800 e-mails) and personal business. I learned this week that it is possible to exchange a purchase here - even got pointers from the resort staff on the most acceptable way to phrase it. One of the directors here wrote it out for me in Thai, thank goodness. My tailor-made jacket now fits well enough that I CAN take a breath, though I'll never be able to broadly use my hands and arms if I'm wearing it when I speak. Today I made my first venture out without the kids as guides (but with one woman from Gilbert!!! and another from Finland) and didn't get lost in the day market building - amazing, and I'm sorry I don't have a photo of the day market on this computer so you could be suitably impressed.


Yesterday we did a tour (Em arranged it) of some handicraft factories. It was the first - and no doubt last - time I had an emerald and diamond ring on my finger. Some handicrafts! Besides the gem factory, we did see how Thai silk is spun and woven, right from the moths laying eggs all the way to the finished product, and we visited an umbrella-making factory (though factory is hardly the right word to use - it's all open-air and done by hand) where I got a butterfly painted on my jeans, Ev got an elephant on his shorts, and El got a spectacular butterfly painted on her shirt - which she was not wearing at the time, due to concerns about wet paint and her busy little hands. You'll soon see umbrellas from this factory in your local Pier 1 store. The Thai people are quite artistic and music lovers. Our guide/driver spent his time waiting on us to tour the factories by playing a stringed instrument he keeps in the bed of his pickup truck when he takes people around. He was quite good and we enjoyed a short "concert."

This week we attended a kantoke dinner, too, with traditional Thai dancing and food. Monday we go to Burma to get new Thai visas, so next week I'll report on that adventure. I"m off now to call my hubby, so y'all be blessed.

Am I Jane or the Swiss Family Robinson?

For the past two days we've been living in what seem much like tree houses at The Juniper Tree "resort" here in Chiang Mai, our home for two weeks between conferences. I'm living in a teak house that seems very much like ship's quarters inside. Check out www.juniper-tree.org for a peek. At every meal besides breakfasts, we sit with different families from all over the world. Aside from the one thing we all have in common, the common denominator here is children! Em calculated tonight that we adults are seriously outnumbered! You should hear the commotion from the play platform in the dinning room after about 20 minutes into every meal- something like preschool meets family reunion meets chaos. Ev and El love it!

Today we checked out the spider webs, butterflies, and bananas behind their house, then the LARGE red ants crawling up and down a tree (and our legs!) behind us. Yikes and ouch! Our other adventure today was our tuk-tuk driver getting confused as we tried to get back here from an errand up in the north of town. Well . . . it was a nice day for a drive, especially after the non-stop rain and cold yesterday. Our rooms don't have any heat - why would you need a heater in the tropics???? - so last night was quite nippy. We figured it was the storm that blanketed much of China in snow, so we were glad it was just rain down here.

My adventure this past week was getting a jacket made by a seamstress in the day market. Tuesday will tell whether my and Em's gestures and scribbles in a pattern (sort of ) book really communicated what I wanted! Phooey - it's costing me almost as much for a rayon jacket (I couldn't find the right color in raw silk) as it would have for a ready-made silk one - though the silk one was a tight fit. I've never had anything made to my measurements, so this is a new experience on several levels.

So is meeting all the folks here at the Juniper Tree and hearing the stories of their work and challenges. Suffice it to say they regularly deal with things you and I would find "impossible" or downright terrifying. What love and commitment is in their hearts! I'll share details when I get home - in the meantime, please think about them as you talk to the Lord.

Well, the bird (?) monkey(?) is calling outside, so I'd better close for this evening. Much love!

Just like Adventureland

January 24 -Week two in Thailand – and sometimes I have to “pinch myself” to realize I’m really here. Most of my weekdays are spent between our two hotel rooms, but a few steps outside the hotel and it’s Asia for sure just crossing the street to the other hotel where the kids’ conference is and where we all eat lunch together. I got a real reminder of where we are tonight as I walked around the corner and down the street with Eric and the “we hope she falls asleep on this walk” Elsa: Eric pointed out the elephant across the street standing on the sidewalk in between motor scooters! The elephant drivers, called (I’m probably butchering the spelling) “mahouts,” put red lights on the rear of the elephants so other traffic can spot them at night on city streets.

Actually we don’t see that many in town. Last Saturday was a different story when we toured an elephant camp. Part of the package was a one-hour elephant ride, followed by a one-hour raft ride on the river, then a bull cart ride to the resort where we ate lunch. Er and Ev rode one elephant, and Em and Elsa and I rode another. Picture yourself perched about 12 feet off the ground atop a moving, swaying conveyance with nothing but a rope tied across the front of the seat to keep you from slipping out. Now take away the use of one hand (Em holding Elsa, me holding an umbrella over Elsa while she ate and then slept in Em’s arms) and try to find a place to grip with your other hand that will allow you to sort of keep from sliding forward right under said rope as the elephant heads downhill! Did I mention there’s no good place on the elephant’s back to put your feet to help brace yourself? I think you get the picture – and see the photo illustrating our plight. Our mahout kindly took the low road in a couple of places (still involved quite a bit of downhill) after he saw our predicament.

I had to laugh at – and you can understand why I couldn’t get to my camera to photograph – the Coke “billboard” on the side of a raised hut about 50 yards from another raised hut selling soft drinks for the elephant riders. Coke, hand-woven hats, bags, bracelets – the entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well in the “wilds” of Thailand! Women and children stand in the river trying to sell their handmade items, and we saw a guy standing in the river selling cold drinks from a floating ice chest (again, I couldn’t get to my camera in time and thought it might be rude anyway to take a picture). We also visited an orchid farm – incredibly beautiful - and (by popular vote of the linguists on the bus who did NOT want to get back in time to add another seminar to their day) an elephant dung paper manufacturing facility. Yes, you heard me right. The paper is beautiful, by the way.

On to the inspiration in this peregrination. One part of every morning has been an hour or two with Ev and Elsa and four other Third Culture Kids and their caregiver over at a playground at a hotel on the next street. Two days ago I was talking with the nearly ten-year old girl in the group about their family’s plans after this conference. She said they were going to try to have a few days of vacation. Their planned vacation last June was cancelled when her mother contracted typhoid and dengue (sp?)fever and had to go to the hospital. A second trip got axed when they ran into visa problems. She rattled off all their problems quite casually. Are these the kinds of hassles you dream of having to deal with, or more appropriately, ever have nightmares about? This is just part of the reality for families like our “kids”, a cost they assume in doing the work they’re called to. That’s why I came here: to lighten the load a bit for Er and Em and their colleagues at these conferences, or at least to give them one less concern to deal with.

So if/as you think of it, please lift up the folks who are now traveling after the first conference, either to home assignment (wherever home is) or back to their workplaces.

I’d also appreciate a lift-up for my arthritis in my neck issues (I’ve had almost daily headaches here in Thailand) and my peanut sensitivity. Peanuts or peanut oil are nearly impossible to avoid in food here, and my hands and feet have been itching like crazy for the past week despite me giving up eggs in the morning and stir-fried everything.

Third point to lift up: the language survey Er and Em hope to do in early March is waiting on approval from the local language commission, and with Chinese New Year looming, the final decision may be delayed till just a few days before they need to leave. They also need to find housing in the smaller town from which they’ll be doing the survey.

Lastly, if you’d ever like your own adventure – the February conference coming up is an annual event with about 100 kids needing care while their parents attend . . . . Next year YOU on an elephant?

Sawasdee kaaaaaa

Hi, Friends,

Since I don’t know how to spell the Thai greeting for hello – just plain hello. End of week two in Asia, week one in Thailand. The people here are so friendly – of course part of that may be the charming Ev__ at my side and the adorable El__ I’m carrying in a sling or trying to push in a stroller over the uneven or non-existent sidewalks here. You’d bite your nails if you saw the traffic we negotiate on our daily walks, made necessary by El__’s severe “cabin fever” in our hotel room, aka “Camp Grandma.” The Thai people are gracious and very cordial, making this a big tourist spot for people from all points of the globe.

I have had headache trouble here, so I popped up the street for a Thai massage on Tuesday night – that’s massage, otherwise know as Thai torture! The stretching I didn’t mind (one arm wrapped around an appendage and a foot pressing into the point where it attaches to get the maximum stretch), but Holy Cow, I’ve never experienced thumbs and elbows pressed into every muscle and nerve ending before! I was ready to confess that I’d stolen the Crown Jewels before the hour was over! Tonight (Friday) Er__ and I tried a half-hour back and neck massage in “Lazy Boys” at a stand set up on the sidewalk down at the night market, and that will be my stress relief of choice from now on.

On a “why I’m really here” note – it’s NOT just to visit my family – it’s absolutely wonderful to meet and listen to the kid’s colleagues (why I’m giving no names) from many nations, all here for the same heart reason. What amazing people they are, accepting challenges that would send most people packing in short order. How funny that their common language is often Chinese! Er and Em are in seminars from 8 am till 5 pm every day, and there’s no way they could both attend as they need to if someone wasn’t here to watch Ev and El. Someone just happens to be Grandma, who now knows what it feels like to be functionally illiterate and so respects even more the literacy work these folks are doing. In several weeks I’ll be helping in the nursery for their big two-week annual group conference.

Points to “think” about:

Energy for all of us adults, as the grandkids seem to have a superabundance and the seminars take lots of mental energy, and good health for us all (El is teething).

Safety as we walk and travel around the city.

A good, duty-free conclusion to shipping problems we’ve had.

A quick return for Er’s renewed passport.

Anointing and fresh inspiration for all the people here for the seminars.

Here is a shot of local flavor from this beautiful place. Much love to you all, and thanks again for your love and support